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Frequently Asked Questions

Click on a question to reveal an answer. Most questions have two answers: The short answer if you prefer the bottom line only, and a longer one if you want more detail. A practically speaking piece has also evolved for some of my replies.

Do I have to tell you everything?
Are you going to 'climb inside my head'?
How is coaching different from counseling or therapy?
I'm not a parent. Will you coach me?
How do I know if weekly or bi-weekly sessions will suit me best?
How do I know if I need a coach?
Why should I choose you over any other coach?
There are loads of people calling themselves coaches - do you have any qualifications to practice?
Do you follow any professional standards?
Will you coach on topics other than parenting?
I'm not the problem - how is your coaching of me going to change those who are the
problem?
What do I get for my money?
Is it confidential?
What if I don't like it?
Do you coach mums?
Can I pay by credit card?
When do you offer sessions?
How do I ask a question?
I'm not sure what I want, just that I want it all to be different. Can you help?
Do I have to sign anything?

Do I have to tell you everything?

short : No

longer : There's a lot to be said for the old adage, "What you get out is proportional to what you put in". If you approach the coaching process half-heartedly, you're likely to get half-hearted results. I would suggest that another 'truism' is, "If you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you have always got". For this reason, coaching inevitably requires change. You change your approach to get more effective results. This process works most effectively when we are in partnership, with both of us in full possesion of all the facts.

practically speaking: Many clients approach the coaching process feeling nervous or anxious and do not engage 100% from the outset. This is normal and to be expected. My experience is that I earn the trust and respect of my clients and as a result they 'open-up' increasingly as our relationship develops. If this is something that you are open to, then contact me. If, on he other hand, you are completely closed to the idea of opening-up at any stage during the process then I suggest you don't engage with a coach.

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Are you going to 'climb inside my head' and 'therap' me?

short : No

longer: Coaching is different from therapy, and therapy should only be provided by a qualified therapist. However there is much crossover between coaching, councelling and therapy. Any coach who claims that they are completely different is misinformed or misrepresenting the facts. Anyone who has given you a 'good listening to' in an open-hearted and non-judgemental manner has done much of what a coach, counsellor or therapist will do.

practically speaking: I recently worked with a client who had applied for a new job and had been offered an interview. We worked together in identifying their thoughts and beliefs around the topic and uncovered the belief that they 'had to perform' at the interview. I questioned the validity of this and my client gradually realised that what was most likely to succeed was being genuine and real, with no pretence. They went on to be offered the job. It would be inappropriate for me, as a coach, to work solely at this level; encouraging a client to explore the validity of their thinking / beliefs. Most of the coaching process is far more about identifying, enabling and encouraging action - but I judged it appropriate at that stage in the process and it worked.

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How is coaching different from counseling or therapy?

short : Imagine a scale between those who need emotional / mental support to cope and those who don't - who simply recognise that we can achieve more and become more effective with support; in partnership rather than 'going it alone'. Therapy is appropriate for the former, whilst coaching is appropriate for those at the latter end.

longer : The above is a crass example. We like to place labels and put things in boxes, but there is much more grey area and crossover in the reality. If you have ever given someone a really 'good listening to', whilst being non-judgmental and authentic, then you have done most of what therapist, counsellorss or coaches do. However, it would be completely inappropriate for a coach to work with someone who is suffering with a mental illness.

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I'm not a parent. Will you coach me?

Yes

How do I know if weekly or bi-weekly sessions will suit me best?

It's a judgment call that probably depends on how much support you want, and how quickly you want to move forward in whatever areas of your life you choose to work with. It often works well to begin with weekly sessions, to create as much significant change as quickly as possible and to establish our client-coach relationship.
Previous clients may elect to have a monthly session, or the occasional single session to get the most out of a particular opportunity / challenge that life has brought them.

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How do I know if I need a coach?

short : You don't need a coach.

longer: Nobody needs a coach. Coaching is a luxury, just like good wine and chocolate!
So why is it so popular that even the Government has spent over £340,000 on life coaching for senior civil servants? The answer is: because it works. With a good quality coach, you can acheive your goals in half the time that it may take without one, or overcome blocks that may otherwise prevent you from acheiving your goals.
Why spend a year getting there, when you could do it in weeks or months?

Why should I choose you over any other coach?

short : You shouldn't!

longer : One of my USPs (Unique Selling Points) is that after every session I email you a Session Summary. My clients find these summaries enormously useful.
You can view testimonials from some of my previous clients by clicking here. I encourage you to shop around and to speak to a few coaches. We all encourage an introductory session, so use this free time to see who you seem to 'gel with'.
I may not be the best coach for you - and I may be just what you need! We all have our own style, and you will only find out whether my style is ideal for you by engaging with my service. This is why I offer a money-back, one-month trial period. You can't lose!

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There are loads of people calling themselves coaches - do you have any qualifications to practice?

short : Yes

longer : I have both a certificate and a diploma in Life Coaching. I trained as a Mentor with the Life Training Program during the late 1990's, and have effectively been coaching for about a decade.
I am a training consultant and business partner in AM Training, a thriving training provider. As a trainer I am experienced and skilled in facilitating change.
I trained to become a Parenting Facilitator with Parentline Plus about five years ago, and am a member of Parenting UK. My work with Parenting UK has included piloting Parenting Workshops as part of the Blueprint Scheme, a Home Office Funded research project involving 29 schools, and delivering parenting skills sessions throughout the NW in association with the BBC 'Get Parenting' programme.

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Do you follow any professional standards?

short : Yes.

longer: As a training consultant who specialises in parenting support, I work to the National Occupational Standards in Working With Parents. I invite you to review my Diversity and Confidentiality Codes of Practice. I also operate to the International Coach Federation Code of Ethics, although I have yet to apply for membership and am not currently a member.

Will you coach on topics other than parenting?

short : Yes

longer: I contemplated writing 'Always' above, rather then 'Yes'. It wouldn't be true, however it is often the case that the focus of our work can shift over time. For instance, a focus on 'improving my relationship with my kids' can become 'getting a handle on my time management', or 'recognising that what I want is worth my time and effort to make reality'.

practically speaking: I am a qualified life coach - and as such can work with you effectively on any area of your life.

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I'm not the problem - how is your coaching of me going to change those who are the problem?

short : It won't

longer : We will work together to identify alternative approaches and responses and in doing so you will create different results and different relationships.

What do I get for my money?

short: Weekly or bi-weekly 50 minute sessions on the telephone with an experienced, qualified and well prepared life coach.

longer : I prepare for 20 minutes prior to each session, reviewing my notes and ensuring I am prepared to be 100% with you during our session.
I complete after each session by spending 20 minutes typing a session summary, which I then email to you.
Each coaching session is therefore 90 minutes of my time. In engaging my services you get the benefit of my experiences as a father, mentor, life coach, parenting facilitator and training consultant.

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